Few of us haven't been impacted by the financial downturn over the last few years, the impact has been felt around the world, depending on your circumstances the impact has been similar and different but has been a catalyst for change for so many people. People have lost their homes their jobs, faced financial ruin, break-up in relationships, and their mental health and well being has been affected. There have been, as we all know people, who have taken their own life by completing suicide; the ripple affect of this financial crisis has been vast and devastating at times. However this is not going to be another article on the woes of the economic situation but more an understanding of how we care and look after ourselves going forward and a reflection on getting to know our own personal authority as per my previous blog.
While discussing this issue with a very dear friend of mine the other day we kind of stumbled upon the idea that the whole thing had a similarity to an affair and hence the title of the blog, the great financial affair. Money became like the other woman/man, it intruded on the sanctity of many a relationship and has at times caused much heartache in families in Ireland and in the world to date.
What drove all this has obviously been debated for a long time, overspending, reckless lending, an overdeveloped and pricey property market, but I think it also reflected the hunger for a better quality of life at some level. Often times I have heard the judgement on people who paid exorbitant prices for their houses and the question asked sure why should they be complaining now when they got themselves into negativity equity. That in my opinion is far too simple I remember the days when people were queueing up to buy a house, it wouldn't have been unusual for people who were buying second hand houses to have to deal with disappointment after disappointment when bargaining for the right price, pushing themselves to the limit and it still not being enough to get the home they wanted. Who would blame people who have maybe worked hard all their lives, studying, working long hours wanting to have their own home, but the price became too high and very few were willing to question what was happening then or to step in at the time and put a stop to it. We were always pushed to own our homes; after all the never ending spiral of rental payments just feathered someone else's pockets so why pay that amount of money to someone when you could be paying it towards owning your own home - just one example I think of as I write.
Excitement, Thrills and Addiction
The whole concept of the financial affair brings to mind the excitement and the thrills that can often be seen with addiction & impulsive behaviour, the search for the next fix and the never ending spiral of shame and guilt, which only leads to the need for a fix all over again; the "love affair begins" and it becomes all about the drug, the alcohol, the affair or in this case the money. With respect to the Financial affair, there were so many temptations, chasing the thrill, making the deal, and enjoying the high - there seemed to be no end to the amount of money that could be lent to you if the Banks among others felt that it would feather their own nest in someway. There was going to be no downturn, no repercussions for this extravagance - it was a win win situation, nobody would get hurt. Everything seemed to go so well for so long and nobody needed to stop and say hold on but what if............ the what ifs were seen to be more about spoiling the party and negativity, it was more acceptable to join in the fun and the fantasy because that was where it was at. The more you got the more you wanted and in a way the least satisfied everybody became, and then of course it all took a turn for the worse, it seems in some way the more we grew the less we developed. One could say that people became addicted to this way of being, the further in you got the harder it was to get out!
Why did we do it?
A lot of the generation that became embroiled in this mess it would seem wanted a taste of the good life. Many of my own generation saw recessions before, we lived in a world that was controlled by the church, to a lesser extent than our parents however it was still there, I remember when contraception was legalised, I remember when the term "living in sin" was used, I remember the whole stigma against people who did not go to mass, got pregnant before they were married etc., etc., I could write a long list. It's not that long ago - a lot of women my age were not given the same opportunities as men with regards to their education, pay was not equal and the expectation was that you would get married and not be interested in a career and many women did exactly that, if you did remain in your job you were often accused of keeping the young people out of work; it was also extremely hard for women to get into managerial positions. Women lost their independence very quickly and it was so often the case that men were the main breadwinners in the house and traditional values still ruled! The stay-at-home mum was an expectation but not something that seemed to get a lot of credibility - women were in a no win situation.
As we progressed through the years we started to see how many of the traditional roles that we had been used to started to change; many women were holding more jobs, developing their careers, women who had children were making choices as to whether they could stay on working after they had their children, depending on their circumstances and men were becoming more involved as fathers and wanting that role, however with this came the whole question of male identity. Where were the role models for men anymore where they losing touch with the more traditional role and how did they see themselves anymore, if they became more involved in the home how would they be seen? It was a society that embraced and experienced many changes with all too many scandals to follo;, Charlie Haughey, Hepatitis C disaster, the abuse in the church to name just a few - slowly but surely all the foundations and the institutions that held the power for so long in this country started to fail before our very eyes. However in leaving the old controlling ways, it seemed we fell into another one that seemed to want to hold control in a very different way!
Was it that feeling of power that lured so many people into the financial affair, they could have what they wanted, they could spend what they wanted, they had choice, they could go on holidays whenever they wanted? The guilt that so many Irish people had lived with was losing its grip; people weren't afraid to enjoy themselves anymore although some might have described it as looking like it was starting to become a more hedonistic society. Nobody seemed to have to wait for anything anymore, if I want it I get it as soon as I want it, I don't have to save, and if you can't do it for me someone else will! I remember being at a conference a couple of years back and there was a life coach talking about the younger generation and how their self-confidence and their expectations were something to be admired; the coach described them as people who knew what they wanted, they had expectations that previous generations had not had and the world was their oyster. In many ways the change in our circumstances allowed that - however it has in someways taken a turn for the worst because the reality is, as we have seen, no matter how well educated, no matter how great the confidence and the expectations are we need a good solid working foundation to give people the right opportunities to develop and presently many of the young are not getting those opportunities unless they emigrate, and the older people are having to reestablish themselves. The quality of relationships and how we deal within conflict has taking a beating in all senses of the word, it seemed at times that people became too easily replaced, a sense that nobody really had to care anymore, how do people work things through particular when faced with crisis and as we all know that is part of life - what happens when the party stops, how do you learn to relate to one another? The whole area of drugs seemed to grow too throughout these decades; who remembers reading about the champagne and cocaine fuelled parties - so the reality being the more you had the more thrills you seemed to have to look for, there was growth but one would wonder how much development there was.
Financially Transmitted Dis-ease
In the aftermath of what has happened people are continuing to pick up the pieces and rebuild their lives. There is without doubt a great resilience in the Irish people and that I think goes back many many years in our history; we are fighters and we are survivors. Many people have had to re-establish themselves, taking on new jobs, retraining, sell their homes; they have had to cope with big changes in their lives and at times the stress on relationships has proved too much. Mental health and well-being has suffered and as with any life crisis, there are changes, with those changes there are adjustments and there will be emotions to deal with and this is a process that takes time. When a crisis feels like it has been forced upon you these changes are very often unwelcome and are accompanied by some strong emotions. People need time and support to help them work through thinks, without it, it just adds to the crisis. The impact and the dis-ease that this financial crisis has caused has been phenomenal but I don't think that alone is to blame; many of the institutions that this society depended on have failed and the country is now rebuilding itself after what can only be described as a dis-ease that has infected the very core of our being in many different ways.
After the Affair
Now that the affair is ended, and the powers that be are still trying to work things out and plan the best way forward, it is up to each individual to start planning and working on how they are going to look after themselves and what they want out of life. How do we choose what we want and what we want to become? These questions can be somewhat daunting but can also be exciting. This also has the bigger wider question of the community and the society we create as well. The Dalai Lama has recently published a very interesting book called Beyond Religion which I have started to read; in this book he addresses many questions but one in particular which I feel is very relevant to Irish Society today - we have become an increasingly secular society moving away from the old ways and the strong influences that the church and religion has had. However within that context what do we have to morally guide us anymore in regards the good of oneself and the good of the community and society?
The Dalai Lama explores this question in great detail in his book, but in brief it would appear that we have to become our own moral guides, taking the responsibility to know what is right and what is wrong. We need to know ourselves emotionally and spiritually. We all strive to better ourselves and our ultimate goal may be happiness, but happiness is fleeting; how do we know when is enough is enough and how do we now work as individuals and a country to get our feet back on the ground. Don't get me wrong I know this is already happening and many people continue to strive and make great progress, The Celtic Tiger saw many a good thing happen in Ireland, and most of all I suppose you could say it introduced us to the idea that we could be great, we just have to nurture it differently. One of the things the Dalai Lama talks about is the need to know how our emotions and our patterns of behaviour impact on our way of life; there is also a strong need to find balance in these and an awareness of how we use them to be constructive rather than destructive e.g. anger is not always destructive but it can be if it is used in an abusive way, competitiveness can be constructive in order to give us that energy to strive and work towards what we want but if it is used in a way to knock others then it can be destructive; the wish and need to have money is not necessarily destructive. We all need a certain amount to maintain a well balanced lifestyle however if the need becomes driven by greed it can lead to destruction very quickly.
Each individual needs to know and understand honesty and trust in oneself and ultimately others. There is a need for conscious living, nurturing our awareness and mindfulness to gain self-respect and consideration of others. These are truly the conditions that an ethical society will flourish in to reach what constitutes "right livelihood"; without it as the Dalai Lama puts it:
"Dishonesty destroys the foundations of others' trust and is profoundly harmful. Transparency in our dealings with others is therefore tremendously important. Many of the scandals we hear about today, notably the corruption which is observable at so many levels and in so many fields, - government, the judiciary, international finance, politics, media, even international sports are related to this issue of right livelihood." (Dalai Lama, Beyond Religion, Ethics for a Whole World (2011) p 107)
Revisiting the whole concept of Personal Authority
In truly getting to know and understand ourselves, reassessing and working on our belief systems, knowing what we value is another step towards getting to know and understand one's personal authority and ultimately grow and develop as a community and a society.
Ref: Beyond Religion, Ethics for a Whole World (2011) Dalai Lama
