Why worry?

When I think of worry I always think of the brilliant Mr. Men stories, and the one about Mr. Worry who learns to control his worry and then worries that he has nothing to worry about -  this experience can be so true, when we let our worries get the better of us we can just move from one worry to the next, always finding something to worry about even if it is just worry itself.

Can worry be useful? as with everything I would say it has it's place but we need to keep a balance with our worrying thoughts.  We need to be able to control how much energy we are putting into worrying about something, if we don't we can just wear ourselves out.  I find the the more we worry the more anxious we get, the more anxious we get the less confident we feel and we can find ourselves in that Negative Stress Cycle that I talked about in the last blog, a never ending cycle of worry and negative thinking, feelings and behaviours.

No doubt when we find ourselves in a stressful situation it can provoke worry, the longer the stressful situation continues the more we worry.  It is quite understandable that we may want to get the situation resolved in some way and at times our worry can be useful as it might point us in a direction of trying to put things in place that will help us deal with the situation.

Worry is something we all do however when it becomes excessive it becomes a problem; we may find ourselves worrying about little everyday things and always anticipate a negative outcome.  If worry becomes excessive we need to address it.  It is about learning how to use it in a healthy way.

So what helps?  I came across a very useful book recently called Overcoming Worry - a self-help guide using Cognitive Behavioural Techniques, written by Kevin Meares & Mark Freeston.  It is a very useful guide in helping you to help yourself deal with worry, there are many exercises in it to help you challenge your worrying thoughts and beliefs, it gives good explanations as to how worry can become a problem and how we can use it in a healthy way.

A few questions that might be helpful in addressing your worry:

• What triggers worrying thoughts for you?
• Have you always been a worrier?
• Is there something specific that is worrying you right now?
• What are your beliefs when it comes to worry?
• How have you tried to help yourself with your worrying thoughts?
• Do you have fixed rules about worry?
• Could you imagine what it might be like not to worry?

Tips on dealing with worrying thoughts:

• Try to identify what is worrying you right now, if it helps and if there is more than one worry write it down
• Give yourself some worry time - It might be useful to allocate yourself a short amount of time (no more than 20 mins) to think about the plan you have to deal with your worry, get support if you need it.  If you find it coming into your head at other times put off thinking about it until your specified time
• Be realistic about the evidence, how true is this worrying thought right now and what is the impact of it - challenge negative thinking by keeping it real remember there are always two ways of looking at something
• Be aware of your thinking, do I think in black & white terms (distorted thoughts), or am I missing the grey areas here.
• Sometimes it helps to make a list of all your options, things that you can do to help the situation, again if you need help do not be afraid to look for support.
• If you have a longterm stressful situation, it might be an idea to distract yourself by going out to meet friends and not talk about the situation all the time, go to the pictures, take a walk or take up a new hobby.  Sometimes a break can re-energize you and things may look a bit brighter when you come back to work on it.
• Always keep things in perspective.  Prioritise and try not to stress about the little worries. (Powell Trevor, 2000 p 22)

References:   Kevin Meares & Mark Freeston, 2008 Overcoming Worry, Constable & Robinson Ltd.,

                     Trevor Powell, 2000 The Mental Health Handbook, Speechmark Publishing Ltd.,