Anne B’s “S.H.I.T.E. Busting Technique”

Hi all,

 This little piece has been inspired by a few different experiences and struggles, personal ones and  hearing friends going through their own experiences and difficulties and everywhere else that  “shite” has raised its ugly head. It’s written a little tongue in cheek, so take it with the humour that is meant but also there is a serious side to it, and remember the good points that might help when you are dealing with “shite”.   It got me wondering how some people seem to have to deal with what would appear to be more than their fair share of “shite”, while others seem to glide through life without “shite”.  Maybe that is just an illusion because without a doubt life in general tends to throw a fair amount of “Shite” around at any given moment and we have to learn to deal with it, manage it and above all learn to protect ourselves when we are experiencing it. 

One wonders though are there people out there who are too good at dealing with “Shite” and therefore it seems to land on their doorstep all the time, others who just ignore the “Shite” and don’t deal with it, there are people who may be too good at throwing “Shite” around so it sticks to everyone else, and some people who seem to have what can only be described as “Shite magnets”!   By “Shite” I mean all the crap stuff that happens, I am sure I don’t have to go in to detail about what these are here we can all identify, need I say more?....  All in all we can learn a lot from “shite”  but there is no doubt that’s it hard when you are in the thick of it!  So I came up with a little acronym that I thought might be helpful and also a bit amusing because in the end of the day it is essential that we hold on to our sense of humour, being able to laugh at the “shite” is probably one of our great defences!

So let’s look at the word “Shite” and see what we can come up with:

S stands for simplify:  What are you experiencing, what are you hearing – take the problem and have a good long look at it, get help, get support and simplify – often problems can look like a big old tangled mess; when we simplify we can start to see a route through and maybe a few different options that we were missing along the way.

H hatch the plan:  look at the options, sound them out.  Don’t rush into any decisions, get advice, there is many a decision made in haste looking for the quick solution which may not be always the best at hand in fact it may increase the difficulties later on.  H also stands for hope hang on to that hope and don’t let it go, it is one of the things that can really motivate you and also it's worth remembering the tricky situations you were in before that you managed to get out of, that is resilience and you have it more than you know.

I is imagine:  what your life would be without this “shite”!  Think it through and give yourself moments of “shite free time”, take a walk, meet a friend, have a cup of coffee, do something nice for yourself.  Imagine when all this has blown over and what your life might look like then, remember all “shite” passes eventually.

T is for transform:  You will reach a point of transformation when all this has passed and you will learn more about yourself along the way, you will discover your strengths and your weaknesses and learn to work with both, one of these days you might actually thank the “shite” for teaching you the lesson, but that takes time and progress.

E is for emergence:  There is nothing like knowing that you have worked through the “shite” and come out at the other end.  A bit like the Phoenix coming out of the Ashes, time to rebuild, refocus on what’s important.  Life is ever evolving and so are we, we can always work on picking ourselves up and moving on to the next phase, don’t let anybody else’s “shite” keep you down – if you do you are giving them way too much power over your life!

 

Add to the above, self-care, self-respect, assertiveness, boundaries and good communication skills - are all necessary skills and needs to be aware of.

To finish I think a quote from Mark Twain will suffice:

“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight; it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” Mark Twain