A Personal note on Preserving the Spirit

“A man who as a physical being is always turned toward the outside, thinking that his happiness lies outside him, finally turns inward and discovers that the source is within him.
Soren Kierkegaard”

The spirit as I understand it is a part of me that relates to my belief system, what I value and how I motivate myself, the very essence of who I am.  It symbolises for me the quality of one’s life and how much you allow yourself to live and enjoy that life.  To have a thriving spirit I think you need to really understand yourself and know yourself physically, mentally and spiritually.  The spirit can be impacted by the things that we experience in life; these experiences can  be negative or positive and each will have their own individual impact and without doubt it is always interesting to see how we develop and grow from these experiences.

My spirit that I have come to know and love is something that I cherish dearly.  It keeps me motivated, helps me enjoy life, builds relationships, develops friendships, motivates me to work, it helps me learn and experience life and continuously challenges me in that learning.  I worry sometimes that life and the very difficult challenges it brings could ever break my spirit.  However I believe that my spirit is a great source of containment and support to me even when times feel very fragile.  A wounded spirit can be extremely hard to mend, there have been many challenges to me and my spirit but luckily it continues to thrive, despite the bruising and hurt at times.  I wonder what it is that keeps one’s spirit alive and nurtured; no doubt it can be different for everyone, religious beliefs, personal meanings, life experiences, what the world and living means for each individual is of course part of that.

I am forever thankful that I can “bounce back” from challenging experiences and for that I am eternally grateful.  What helps me is a deep determination in me not to allow my spirit to be broken; there is a part of me that no matter what the challenge is that I know somehow I will survive it and eventually make meaning of it.  It may have a huge impact on my life but to remind myself that I will get through it and that I will continue to grow, develop and challenge myself through the experience helps.   Knowing your strengths, and acknowledging your weaknesses is a sign of maturity.

 I know that part of what keeps my spirit going is the people that are dear to me, the people who I truly value in my life,  the relationships I have with them, the love and the kindness that they show to me.  In a funny way the people who haven’t shown that kindness are also people that I do eventually feel grateful for because they have also shown me something too and reminded me of what I don’t want to be like.

I also believe that to have something to work towards, to find something that you like to work at is an important motivator to have in life.  My own work as a psychotherapist brings me into contact with so many people and their stories; I continue to feel amazed and privileged by the stories and the very personal journeys that I am honoured to share and witness.  What people have come through, the challenges, the abuses, and the struggles and yet their stories and their will to survive and work towards a good quality of life are so inspirational.  The work of Psychotherapy continues to make me curious, curious about life, the people living those lives, the learning, and the challenges and drive to understand. When I think about it, it is really what life is all about - transitions.  We continue to change, to grow older, life changes, people change around us, and societies, cultures, and the world we can be sure will never ever stay still.  Living life to the full brings with it challenges risks and opportunities.

Developing resilience is certainly something that helps, being able to support ourselves, trust ourselves, acknowledge our emotions, look for support when we need it are certainly things that assist us in that.  Self-care and mindfulness are two more things that we need to adhere to.  How we learn to value and respect ourselves is also something that we need to continually nurture.  We will not allow anyone else to devalue or disrespect us if we hold those two things dear.  I believe our need and our right to fight for what is right is also an asset to the survival of the spirit, knowing how to use our anger in a constructive way is well worth its weight in gold.

To always remember that you have choices, options and freedom no matter what - something one should never let go of.  Find time to do what you love, something that is healthy and nurturing, walk, sing, dance, paint, laugh, swim, whatever it is, whatever “floats your boat”  they are the kind of things that we should always make time for.  If all else fails take a “leap of faith”.

Lastly I think of Viktor Frankl who survived some of the worst experiences anyone should have to endure in their lives.  His contributions to the world from his experience and his determination to make meaning out of one of the most horrific experiences one could ever imagine is an inspiration to the world and a reminder of why we should keep our spirit alive and well no matter what the situation is.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Viktor E. Frankl